


Come Sail Away (Into the Light of the Dark Black Night)

by elletromil



Series: The sound of the whistle 'cross radio wires (I finally found you) [2]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, Harry Lives, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-29 19:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6391045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elletromil/pseuds/elletromil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Eggsy had always known his soulmate would be older than him.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Or no, that wasn’t entirely right. He might have been hearing his soulmate all his life, but it had been a while before anyone had explained to him what it really meant.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Come Sail Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NikkiWhitecraft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NikkiWhitecraft/gifts).



> So the amazing Nikkiwhitecraft send me this "Soulmate Au where the songs that gets stuck in your head is your soulmate singing, and the minute you hear them singing for real you Know its them, you’ve been hearing them all your life." yesterday and of course I was inspired by it and had to write it.
> 
> It's going to be 2 parts, the first is Eggsy's side and second will be Harry's.
> 
> The song in this part is Come Sail Away and was suggested by the amazing hartwinorlose on tumblr.
> 
> I hope you like :D

Eggsy had always known his soulmate would be older than him.

Or no, that wasn’t entirely right. He might have been hearing his soulmate all his life, but it had been a while before anyone had explained to him what it really meant. Explained that the voice singing at the back of his mind was not simply something comforting to fall asleep to when his dad wasn’t around to sing him to sleep,  that it wasn’t a nice background music when he had to play alone.

No, that? That was his soulmate singing somewhere out there in the world unaware that a little boy could hear him as if they were standing together in the same room.

He had not told anyone that he could hear his soulmate at the time, somehow already knowing that it was rather unusual. You usually started hearing them around the age of twenty when their voices would have reached maturity.

He knew of a lot of people who complained about this, saying how things would be easier and faster if you could hear your soulmate sing as soon as they were born, but when he had been old enough to think about all the implications, Eggsy thought it was only one more small blessing.

He didn’t know how old his soulmate truly was, but he was sure that an at least 20 years old young man had had no desire to have children songs stuck in his head 24/7.

He felt like going barmy himself while listening to Daisy’s stuff and he at least had the possibility to press stop. A soulmate wouldn’t have such a choice.

It saddened him a bit of course to think that maybe his soulmate had lived without songs of his own for such a long time, but Eggsy had no way of knowing if he was their soulmate too. It was rare, but it happened sometimes, that the bond wasn’t a reciprocal affair.

Anyway, not everyone ended up with their soulmates, life was long and without any assurances that you would find _the one_. Meaningful relationships outside a soulbond was a-plenty and so Eggsy hoped that whoever his soulmate was, he had found people to love and that loved him back in return in all this time.

***

Eggsy bit back a groan as he slunk down the stairs to get to the kitchen, head pounding as if a train had truly run over it. Martinis were treacherous drinks.

The smell permeating the air when he got down was absolutely divine, but that wasn’t what had him nearly gasping aloud.

Harry was puttering around at his stove, clearly waiting on his guest to join him before getting to the food spread on the table, already dressed, apron on so as to not dirty his clothes.

He either hadn’t heard Eggsy coming down (doubtful) or was waiting for him to sit down or something (more likely), but that wasn’t important.

No what had Eggsy opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of the water, was the fact Harry was singing softly as he worked, singing a song Eggsy could have sung himself by heart even if he had only ever heard in his head before.

“ _I look to the sea, reflections in the waves spark my memory  
Some happy, some sad_ ”

Harry stopped singing as he turned around and noticed Eggsy, smiling fondly at his sight instead. “Dear boy, I hope you slept well?”

Eggsy nodded dumbly, taking a seat on automatic once Harry motioned him to do so, unsure on what to say. Unsure _if_  he should say anything.

Sure Harry was his soulmate, but was he his? And even if they both were, things were already complicated right now, surely it could wait until he made it as a Knight and they could be on equal footing.

“Would you prefer I give you these lessons at a later date? You don’t seem to be entirely awake yet.”

He shook his head vehemently, groaning when it sparked his headache, but still reluctant to give up the lessons. He wanted to learn everything Harry deemed important enough to teach him, and his newfound knowledge that the man was his soulmate didn’t even matter into it.

Who cared if he wasn’t Harry’s soulmate.

As long as the man continued with little unnecessary touches like a warm hand on his shoulder as he was serving him, Eggsy was content.

If Harry thought of him as a protégé, a surrogate son, a friend or maybe a potential occasional lover, Eggsy would take anything.

As long as the man kept on being proud of him and that he never gave up on him, Eggsy would be happy.

*

“Eggsy are you sure?” It wasn’t the first time Merlin asked, but since Eggsy was second away from boarding the plane, it would probably be the last time the handler made sure Eggsy hadn’t changed his mind. “There are other people we can send.”

Eggsy shook his head sadly. He knew of course that he didn’t have to go, that he didn’t have to be the one getting back Harry’s body, but it felt wrong leaving it to someone else.

He might have never found out if he was Harry’s soulmate too, but Harry was _his_ and he couldn’t trust anyone else with him. Except maybe Merlin, but the man was far too busy dealing with the aftermath of V-Day.

Eggsy also would be soon, but right now, he could be spared for what would be non-priority errands and the only reason he hadn’t yelled at Merlin for calling it that was because the other man had seemed disgusted with the words himself.

However there was nothing they could do. The spy world was a cold and unfeeling one when you got down to it.

“I’m sure Merlin… I need to do it,” he made sure that his voice was firm with resolve. He knew it would be devastating, but seeing Harry’s lifeless body would be the only way he wouldn’t be plagued with doubts, the only way he’d ever get any kind of closure.

Merlin smiled sadly before gripping his shoulder hard and Eggsy let himself lean into the contact. They might be both hurting, but for the other they could be strong, they could get passed this, no matter how much they wished they didn’t have to.

“Don’t go offline, all right? The world’s still too crazy to my liking.”

“Sure Dad,” he answered, wanting to lighten the heavy mood a bit, only to be shoved roughly into the plane for his trouble but not before he could spot a slight curve to Merlin’s lips.

*

As bothering the pilot was out of the question and Eggsy hadn’t thought of bringing anything to read or listen to on the plane, it wasn’t long before he decided to try and rest a little.

He had been far from surprise after V-Day to find out sleep was elusive and that when he did managed to keep his eyes closed more than a few minutes, he was often plagued by nightmares.

The shrink he had been mandated to see had told him that if nothing changed they could look into sleeping pills soon, but Eggsy didn’t want to have to rely on medication.

With any luck, getting closure about Harry would help him somewhat.

Even the simple fact that he was en route to bring back his body seemed to help him, not _relax_  per se, but at the very least _breathe_ , just remember that life would find a way to go on whatever might happened.

The familiar song at the back of his mind was helping too and Eggsy smiled softly at his favourite part.

 _They sang to me this song of hope and this is what they said_  
_They said come sail away come sail away_  
_Come sail away with me_  
_Come sail away come sail away_  
_Come sail away with me_

He was just about to fall asleep when he shot up in his seat and started laughing uncontrollably, tears running down his cheeks.

It didn’t take long before he heard Merlin’s worried voice in his ear.

“Eggsy, lad, what’s happening?”

“Merlin! He’s alive! Harry’s alive!” He started laughing again, even if he knew the hysterical edge of his mirth would only worry the handler. “That song! That fucking song! It’s stuck in my head again!”

He tried singing it for Merlin, but couldn’t help giggling between the words and he feared for a moment that Merlin would think he was having a breakdown. Feared that Merlin wouldn’t know Harry had been singing this song regularly for the past twenty plus years, that he wouldn’t understand that Harry was Eggsy’s soulmate and if Eggsy had that song stuck in his head, then it meant Harry was currently _singing it_ somewhere, _alive_.

Fortunately, even if Merlin had no particular fondness for the song, he had heard Harry singing it under his breath with no real awareness of doing so for decades now. He would know the words anywhere, even as mangled as they were by Eggsy right now.

“Well I’ll be damned, the bastard’s alive,” and not caring one bit about the revelation that Harry was Eggsy’s soulmate, he joined the lad in his somewhat crazed laughter.


	2. Blackbird

When Harry was twenty and he had yet to have any songs stuck in his head, he thought nothing of it.

So what if he wasn't hearing his soulmate yet? He wouldn't be the first one to have a soulmate slightly younger than he was. He had no doubt that soon he'd start hearing them and he wondered if their musical taste was going to be any close to his.

He was careful though when he sang himself, trying not to sing the same song too much and mindful of the hour. He didn't want to distract them from their study considering the age they would probably be around, nor did he wanted to keep them unnecessarily awake.

*

When Harry reached thirty, he had more or less accepted the fact that there wasn't any other soul calling out to him. That no one would ever share their music with him.

It hurt more than he was willing to admit, but at the same time it was a blessing.

Even if he had had a soulmate, even if he had met them, how could he have knowingly drag them into his life? It was a dangerous way to lead life, being a spy, and Harry wouldn't give it up for anything. _Anyone_.

Admittedly, his potential soulmate should be the one being that would accept him no matter what, but Harry thought that even if he had one, even if he was to found them, he would have stayed away.

Really, it was better this way.

*

At forty, Harry had truly come to peace with the fact there was no one for him out there in the world.

He was no longer angry about it, even if there was still a lingering hurt in chest whenever he thought of the loneliness he would endure all his life.

But after years and years of being a spy, he was truly glad that there had not been a soul waiting for him.

Oh he knew he would have loved them with all his heart, protect them to his last breath, but that would have forced him to stay away from them and the thought of imposing that kind of loneliness on anyone made him sick.

Not that there were any assurances he would have been their soulmate, but, as it was a pretty moot point, he rarely envisioned the possibility.

What he imagined sometimes however, was that he did have a soulmate he could hear, that he had found them and that they lived in the same bliss his parents had lived in when he was young.

The fantasy never survived the harsh light of morning, because he knew that for it to happen he would have to give up Kingsman and it wasn't something he could do. Being Galahad, being a spy with a veneer of gentleman, was the only way he remembered how to live.

Even if he had had a soulmate, he knows that by now he would be so different from the young man he had once been that they would no longer recognize him.

Harry preferred the pain of the loneliness to the pain of loss.

*

His 44th birthday had come and passed while he had been on a mission in a desert wasteland Harry didn't want to think about anymore, even if the sand he still kept finding everywhere didn't let him forget.

However, Merlin had decided that missing the actual date didn't matter and that they would drink to celebrate the fact Harry had lived another year to bother the handler to no end. His words, not Harry's.

And the man wondered why every newcomers at Kingsman first thought they hated each other when they were the closest thing you would find to best friends in their line of work.

So they had gone out and drank, far more than was truly advisable, had somehow made their way back to Harry's home and were now sprawled on the living room floor.

With all his inhibitions gone out the window, Harry was finally attempting to sing the song that had been plaguing his head all evening. He feared he was mangling it beyond recognition, but Merlin snorted after a realising what the song was.

"Ah, Harry, don't worry, I'll be your friend, you don't have to drink for it." He rolled away before Harry could shove him, but it didn't take long before he shuffled back closer, just enough for them to feel each other heat. "I'm surprised you know the song though. But I guess you can't escape a success like _Rehab_  even in the desert."

Harry was about to tell Merlin he had never heard the song, that it was only something in the back of his mind when he realised what it meant.

He started laughing, a bit hysterically but hopefully Merlin would blame it on him winding down from his mission and not on him having a minor breakdown at finding out at forty-four years of age that _he had a soulmate_.

*

After six years of being able to do so, Harry was now used to hear his soulmate singing at the back of his mind.

It was distracting at inopportune moments sometimes, but nothing that was life-threatening, and even the worst songs never failed to make him smile fondly.

At least, no matter where he was, he was always up-to-date with the latest hits.

And the songs weren't all bad and some he knew himself from his youth. His favourites were the Beatles songs he would hear the most, as if that were the ones his soulmate would sing distractedly, without fully realising it.

He wondered what his soulmate thought of the Styx he must have been hearing for years now.

Of course, he might not have been hearing it, Harry might not be his soulmate, but for some reason Harry didn't think so.

Even when he started hearing children songs and he came to the natural conclusion that the young man had had a child, he still thought that their bond was mutual.

His soulmate wouldn't be the first to have a relationship outside of the bond, nor would he be the last. And really, Harry didn't even begrudge him. After having heard Harry all of his life, the young man must have known he was at least a good twenty years older, so of course he would prefer to look for someone closer to his own age. Anyway nothing said soulmates _had_ to be a romantic thing.

No Harry was just happy for the young man, whoever he might be, and feeling inordinately proud of himself. If that young man had found someone to share his life with, if he was safe enough to start a family, then it was a little bit thanks to Harry.

Before hearing his soulmate for the first time, Harry had started to despair that anything he did was for naught and that he was as bad as the ones he was sent to stop. Right down to it, it was all a matter of perspective, wasn't it?

However, now knowing that he did have a soulmate, he refused to believe he could be a monster. A monster wouldn't have a soulmate singing the Beatles at the back of his mind.

***

Harry knew he was immensely lucky.

Not because he had survived getting shot in the head and surviving V-day while he had been defenseless in a coma, even if yes okay, that _was_ immensely lucky in another way.

No, he was immensely lucky, because even with all the casualties from that dreadful day, he could still hear a young man singing at the back of his head. Not everyone could say the same.

It happened a lot less than before, but even without knowing all of his soulmate's circumstances, Harry thought it was only normal. Very few would have the heart to sing in the wake of so much senseless death and destruction.

It wasn't surprising that Harry would only have children songs mixed with a few Beatles ones stuck in his head, either in the afternoon or the evening, probably when his soulmate would put his kid to bed.

That those were the songs he heard were the most relieving. He might not know the child and probably never would, but Harry thought it would have been more devastating to find out anything had happened to them than to never hear from his soulmate again.

He had lived with loneliness for a long time, he could do it again. He didn't know how he would have cope knowing his soulmate was living through such a loss and that he could do nothing to help him through this pain.

As such, it was with no guilt whatsoever that he let himself be lull to sleep by his soulmate. He was still convalescing and it was probably a relief for both the medical team and Merlin that he was resting appropriately for once.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_  
_Take these sunken eyes and learn to see_  
_All your life_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to be free_

*

“Really Eggsy, you do not need to stay, if they let me go home, it’s because they think I can manage,” Harry tried once again to convince the boy he didn’t need an in-home nurse, but Eggsy was being difficult.

To be honest, it was partly his fault for inviting him home with him for dinner and letting him help more than he should have let a guest helped because he was to tired to protest.

But it was so comforting to have Eggsy by his side, it was such a relief to know that they had both survived to fight another day, that no one could have blamed him from indulging both himself and the boy. No one needed to know that Harry’s indulgence came from feeling that ran deeper than the ones a mentor should have for his _protégé_. Especially not Eggsy.

Keeping those same feelings bottle down would be quite difficult if Eggsy insisted on staying longer, before Harry could re-center himself. However, he was soon discovering that he was defenseless against Eggsy’s puppy eyed look.

He sighed and rolled his eyes when Eggsy smiled in victory.

“Don’t smile too soon, if you want to stay so much, I’ll make you work for it.” It was an empty threat of course since Eggsy had already shown how much he didn’t mind the work. In fact, he seemed more relaxed with something to do, nearly _proud_  of the fact he was of any utility to Harry. “I’ll wash, you’ll dry.”

Eggsy beamed seeing right through Harry’s falsely exasperated expression to the fondness he was truly feeling, and Harry turned away to go fetch him a dishcloth before he could do something stupid like kiss him to find out the taste of his smile.

He took the opportunity to open the radio, thinking a bit of music would be a welcomed distraction to the proximity they’d be forced into, his eyes crinkling in contentment at the song that was currently playing.

"Not my favourite version,” Eggsy observed when he finally recognized the song, snorting in amusement at Harry’s horrified look.

“How can the original not be your favourite? This is Styx we’re talki-”

He would have continued his rant if not for the lips suddenly pressed against his. The contact didn’t last long, Eggsy stepping back with a look that was daring Harry to say anything. But the kiss had completely short-circuited his brain and only one word came out.

“Why?”

"Because I kind of fucking love you and I couldn’t keep it to myself anymore.” He still looked ready for a fight, but his shoulders had slumped a bit, as if bracing himself for a rejection.

“Oh. I think you should know something then,” and before Eggsy could imagine too many horrible possibilities at his words, Harry cupped his cheek with a hand and used it to tilt his head up so that he could kiss him more easily. Right before their lips could make contact again, he stopped to whisper what he should have told Eggsy a long time ago.

“I love you.”

*

As he was lining his Oxfords against the wall beside Eggsy’s smaller pair after coming back from a quick grocery run, he smiled when he noticed a pair of purple shoes that could only mean they would be entertaining little Miss Daisy for the rest of the day.

Since his release from infirmary, he had seen the little girl a couple of times and found his presence to be an absolute delight. She was still quite young, but much like her brother, she had wormed her way into his heart and he had no desire to chase her away. Nor did he wanted to chase Eggsy away either, not now that he knew the young man felt the same as him. No, if he had any say in the matters, Harry would keep him forever.

He walked into the house and not seeing them in the living room, went to the guest bedroom which should have been his first stop considering it was around Daisy nap time or so he thought, drawing this conclusion on the fact his soulmate had started singing somewhere in the world. For some reason, knowing the two children were about to sleep at the same time made him smile.

He stopped in the doorstep, leaning against the frame looking fondly at the siblings. Daisy was mostly asleep, but she still had her hand gripping Eggsy’s, the young man sitting on the bed, his back to Harry.

_Blackbird singing in the dead of night_  
_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_  
_All your life_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_  
_You were only waiting for this moment to arise_

It took a moment for Harry to realise that the song he was hearing wasn’t only in his head now, that he could _hear the words in the room_. And that could only mean one thing.

The words trailed off and, after gently removing his hand from his sister’s grip, Eggsy turned toward Harry, smiling when he saw him.

“It’s you...” The words escaped Harry before he could think better of it.

“Hello, it’s me,” Eggsy replied, his smirk making it clear it was some kind of joke, but right now Harry couldn’t be bothered to find out what it was. His inner turmoil must have been apparent, because Eggsy’s smile soon turned into a frown. “Harry?”

“It’s you, it’s been you all along, it’s always been you...” Worried, Eggsy had gotten up and was now standing in front of him, not comprehending why Harry was looking at him with such wonder. “My soulmate...”

As soon as the words left his lips, Harry regretted it. In the weeks since they had become lovers and even before that, they had never talked about soulmates. He didn’t know if Eggsy had one or not, even if he knew that were he to find them, it wouldn’t change Eggsy’s decision to be with him. Even with this revelation he knew Eggsy would stay, but Harry feared that one day it would simply be out of some sense of duty. That he wouldn’t want to break Harry’s heart this way now that he knew that he meant so much to him, the Fates themselves had given Harry a way to find him.

While Harry had been having his little freak-out, Eggsy had been processing that new information and after he had finally convinced himself that yes, _yes_ , he had heard correctly, he started laughing, throwing his arms around Harry’s shoulders, bringing him in a tight hug.

He could feel Harry was confused by his reaction, but he was just so _happy_  that he couldn’t stop laughing, his head pressed against Harry’s neck. His lover’s hands came up to gently stroke his back after a moment, helping him calm down until he could properly explain to him what had him so cheerful.

“It’s yours, the version I prefer, it’s when you sing it, it’s always been.”

It was a strange way to explain it surely, but he found he couldn’t say the words out loud yet, say to Harry Hart that _he was his soulmate too_.

Harry frowned for a moment, before he remembered that moment before their first kiss, the words he had thought were an horrible blasphemy from the young man. It took a moment, but when he finally understood what Eggsy was implying, he started laughing too, tightening his hold around the young man in turn.

There was no way he would let Eggsy leave now.


End file.
